Breaking up is hard for cowards to do.

How to give yourself an excuse to end a relationship:

…these professionals will trick a spouse or undesirable future daughter-in-law into committing an affair, and provide photographic evidence of the indiscretion.

The ‘future daughter-in-law’ thing is pretty cool, no lies.


Employing someone to entice your would-be insignificant other so that you can have an excuse to end the relationship seems awfully narrow in its utility. For people in casual relationships, this is for cowards.

Imagine an all-encompassing one-to-ten system. If a person is in a relationship with someone three or moreĀ  rating points below him- or herself, this might be problematic. In these cases, your relationship radar requires some calibration. I can imagine a hanger-on that simply doesn’t get that the relationship needs to end. Even in this extreme case, though, the person desiring emancipation should be able to do something sufficiently despicable (other than hiring a con artist) to repel his companion.

Back to the coward thing… what if the person wants to end things but doesn’t want to hurt the other person? Assuming the con-artist deception isn’t discovered (which would presumably be a hurtful revelation), this idea is a tried-and-false approach to ending relationships by… most women ever. The idea of ‘not hurting someone’ makes this a grandiose “It’s not you, it’s me” play, where the very illusion is that it is in fact “You.” Yes, I just called most women cowards.

Okay, so what about people in legally binding relationships, such as marriage? If a person cheats, then a divorce with all the fixin’s (custody, house, et. al.) can be had… assuming this underhanded approach isn’t discovered by an attorney trained in the practice of family law. Good luck with that.

An aside: This reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit where a fake Federal Express company would maul a package and then take the blame for a delivery arriving late (even though the person sent it late).

A related idea (worth stealing?): How about a company that will take messages and return calls for professional references and job applications? Vandelay Industries? The person on the phone could invariably answer the phone, “Good morning/afternoon/evening, human resources…” and then let the caller provide all the information such that an adequate artifice could be constructed.

Thanks, freakonomics.

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